Emily’s Tribute to Tay

i see you in the sunset and i see you in parts of me. when i am with kids you are there with me, playing with them and making them smile. You are there when I gossip, gossiping right back. you are there when i watch hocus pocus and you’re there when i make popcorn for said movie. My ripsurf sits in the garage waiting for you to come with me on another ride and your voice keeps giving my false hope anytime i think i hear it in the hallway. You are and will always be with me every step i take. Please know that no matter how old I get i will want you there with me. It’s weird being older than someone that was once older than you. Almost 3 years older. 18 and 15. That’s the gap between most siblings. It makes sense why they say bad things come in threes. Those three years older represent grief, confusion, and disbelief. It’s unfair. It really is. It’s crazy that you couldn’t experience the barbie movie and it makes me sad knowing i won’t be able to see you attempt the griddy with your bad rhythm but still use 100% effort and smile the whole time. It’s a weird thing. missing someone. But weird is a fitting word. We were weird when we were together. And we still are, but in a different way now. A worse way. However, i’d take this weirdness if it meant i got to spend some of it being with you.